A Lady’s Review Of Scarlet Blade
Friday, 3rd May 2013Posted in Industry
Tags: games, lady's review, MMORPG, scarlet blade, video game, women
Written by: Jacqueline Cottrell
I’d have honestly never known anything about this game even existing had a guy friend named Jessie not called me, asking to borrow my Queen’s Blade dvds. While we’re engaging in nerdy otaku talk, he asks me:
“That reminds me. Did you know Queen’s Blade became a game?”
I most certainly had not, and was stoked to play it, given my fondness for the anime. So, I ask him what platform it’s for.
“It’s an MMORPG game. I’ll email you the link. Except it’s called “Scarlet Blade” and not “Queen’s Blade”. There’s honestly no difference between the two, in my own opinion.”
Already, I should have known what was awaiting me, but I want to give you a quick image of what awaits you.
For those who have never heard of Queen’s Blade, it’s an anime series that feature an all, (hypersexualized) female cast wearing what can only be considered “joke armor” because they aren’t covered at all and that armor would serve zero purpose. The overall point of the series is that every four years, the strongest (and most beautiful) female warriors compete in a tournament to become queen of The Continent.
And if you’re still questioning the validity of these character’s designs, allow me to turn your attention to the bunny girl in pink.
So, naturally, I got all sorts of geeked that there was an MMORPG of Queen’s Blade, mainly because, again, I have a fondness for the show, which, despite it’s more…er…obvious postives, displays a strong storyline and incredible character development. These may be female characters with watermelon sized breasts, absurd body measurements, and useless body armor, but I was willing to overlook it in favor of the progressive storylines and intense battle scenes, all of which were drawn beautifully (Also, it was drawn by– and intended for–men. I expected nothing less.) And I expected nothing short of Scarlet Blade, either.
…Except. Well, Scarlet Blade isn’t anything like Queen’s Blade at all. As I would later learn, they aren’t even created by the same company, and are in no way are related.
Almost.
Scarlet Blade (Rated “M” for “Mature) is a sci-fit MMORPG, set in the distant future, with an all-female character cast of powerful warriors of various classes and races, and was developed by LivePlex and published by Aeria Games.
First, I checked out the trailer, which looked interesting enough:
Conrad Zimmerman of destructoid.com calls it: “...The most shameless F2P game yet. I mean that with every, possible connotation.”, adding further:
“…And breasts are everywhere (which makes sense, as all player characters are female), even on people who appear to be far below the age at which one would even be capable of producing them. And, for $20, you can set those jubblies loose and “unlock” their lingerie — which seems as though it’s really more about making you pay money if you ever want to equip anything useful than any titillation, but that certainly shouldn’t stop anyone from selling objectification as a commodity.”
Gamehaunt.com lists the pros and cons of the game as:
Pros:
“PVP Oriented
Intense Battlefields
Beautiful Environment
Awesome Mech-Mode”
And lists one of the cons as:
“Silly excuse for porn”. (But gives the game a review of 3.8/5)
And devilsmmo.com calls it,
“…Quite a capable little MMO might just cements it to first place.”, giving the game an overall score of 6/10, listing the positives as:
*”It’s actually good!”
*”Bright and bold”
*”Classy stuff”.
BUT. The review that almost always popped up was a video runthrough of the game by youtube user: Niichts, who doesn’t pull any of his punches during this absolutely hysterical review:
So, with my curiosity more than piqued, I headed over to the website where the game is available for download. As I’ve already mentioned, the game is rated M for Mature, so you must be over the age of eighteen to play it.
Next, I checked out the features, with the most obvious one I took the liberty of highlighting:
Hot women (“amazons”) who were designed to kill, rely on no man to save them, and are experts at their trade: Okay. I can get behind this, even with beyond absurd designs of the women. (I’ll touch upon this a bit later.)
So, with nothing else really stopping me, I went ahead and began the painfully long process of downloading this game: It took me FOUR TIMES for the program to actually download properly (this is a common bug in the program, I later learned), and then about an hour later, after logging in almost five different times, which is what the game makes you do, the program crashed. So, I had to uninstall the entire program from jumpstreet, and do it all over again.
To put it succinctly, I lost my bloody mind, ESPECIALLY when my computer froze and crashed.
Flash forward three hours later (after rebooting my computer two different times because the program caused it to crash), I was finally in, and able to get it working. Once that, and a few other technicalities are out of the way, it’s time to get started with the actual gameplay.
So, random and pointless banter aside, here is my review of the game, Scarlet’s Blade, and what I would rate it, out of a 1-to5 system (with five being the highest)–
Plot: 2/5
There isn’t a plot. Now, do I mean that in the literal sense? Oh, no. There’s definitely a plot, but it’s genuinely lost amongst the half-naked women running around. And it’s a shame too because when you first boot up the game for the first time, it tells you that there are one of two paths you must choose to follow, and why you should follow that specific path:
And see, it has the undeniable potential to be a great game. I can’t even be mad at the two women above, because they are beautifully drawn and do a fairly good job representing their two, two sides of the story: “Good Vs. Evil”, and it’s interesting because each side is trying to tell you why the other side is “evil”, so really, this has the potential to be a great game, in my own, humble opinion. Who doesn’t love a good, solid story about rebellion, what society perceives as “good” and “evil”, conflicting ideals, a really good and gripping storyline that has you, the player, wondering if the path you chose to take is really the “right” one?
Unfortunately, the gratuitous amounts of fanservice, and the option to unlock (buy) full-frontal nudity cheapens the game in an almost tragic way, and the deterioration of the plot begins from the moment you choose your class/character, with the most insulting being that you have option of knowing the breast size of the character you are playing as, which can all be found under the Class (or lack thereof) Feature on the website:
Bust:34E, Waist:23, Hips:34.
What is interesting to note, however, is that all of the classes are based off of certain races of specific parts of the world. For example, the Medic (as well as the Sentient) is listed as their clone DNA’s being that of Northern European, which I thought was interesting.
The Defender and the Punisher are North American, The Whipper (and let’s get real here, she’s just a revamped Ivy from Soul Calibur) is South American, and the Shadow Walker is Northern Eurasian. It’d be interesting to see more classes/races open up in the future.
Like any MMORPG, you have the option to follow the storylines, and complete missions, unlocking new ones along the way, and you engage in multiple battles, but…that’s it. For the most part, it’s just a bunch of half-naked women running around killing things.
If you’re genuinely interested in the plot, the website updates it’s, “The Story Thus Far” section, so you have atleast a tiny inkling of what on earth is going on in these games: http://scarletblade.aeriagames.com/overview/story
So, let me rephrase that, then: There is a plot. It’s just that it makes a better book than it does a game, since again, most aren’t going to be focusing on a great storyline when they get the chance to unlock and strip naked women with enormous breasts.
Graphics: 3.5/5
I was particularly generous with this, mainly because you cannot deny it’s a beautifully designed game, with beautifully drawn characters. The graphics are sharp and clean, the various patterns and designed used to indicate it is a more sci-fi world are gorgeous, and the landscapes, though standard of a battlefield for a MMORPG are clean cut. This game does a great job using dimensions, bright colors, and shows particular attacks with great fervor.
But still. A game have the most beautiful landscapes, the most intense cutscenes, and all of the flawlessy designed characters, worlds, and horizons ever, but, unfortunately, all of the compensation of great graphics in the world isn’t enough to make up for it’s plot, and you will grow bored after a while.
Gameplay: 3/5
Not as bad as I was expecting. The camera has a tendency to go haywire, but only rarely, and as far as glitches and bugs, they are few and far apart. The gameplay is simple, with basic commands and controls for that of any basic, battle-based MMORPG, but again, it gets repetitive after the first ten minutes or so.
But if you are into mechanics, physics, and sci-fi, this might be a good fit for you.
Sound/Voice Acting: 2/5
If I hadn’t recognized one of the voices immediately as one of my favorite voice over actresses, I would have just assumed the voices of these women are all from that of low-budget porn stars. Some of the voices are absolutely grating they always sound drenched in hypersexuality whenever they speak in a way that sounds fake a porny. Even the sounds they make when they are attacked, or die, are nothing short of sexual moans, gasps, grunts, groans and screams. I genuinely couldn’t tell if they were dying or faking an orgasm.
The battle music is simple, and nothing to really call home about.
However, the sound effects of the more serious attacks and magic performed are rather good.
Final Thoughts/Judgement:
Let’s start with the most obvious negative thing here, particularly if you’re a woman who wants to actually wants to play this game, or a are a man who cannot stand to see women blatantly and sexually objectified on a completely different level, back away now.
There are wildly disproportionate women everywhere. If you choose to play this game, you go into it already knowing this. In fact, it’s the main point of this game. And not a single one wears hardly any clothes, and yes, for just the fee of twenty dollars (and a little bit more), you can unlock the lingerie beneath the armor, and yes, eventually get your character in the full nude.
If you are looking for a game that realistically portrays female warriors who are actually fully clothed, then this is not the game for you. You’re not just barking up the wrong tree; you’re in an entirely different forest, on a different continent that’s located on another planet in a galaxy far, far, far, far away.
There is no way I could actually play this game seriously–maybe occasionally, and just like for the reason I watch Queen’s Blade, for the budding plot and engrossing storyline–but, it’s nothing to call home about. The game is decent at best, but it’s clearly directed at a specific demographic, and be you male or female, you’ll either enjoy it, or hate it totally. This game already has mixed reviews; I’m just adding my own to the fray.
As for how I personally feel as a female gamer who played this game, I’ll be honest: I can’t even be angry because the obectification in this game is laughable. It’s genuinely one of those games you look at and think, “Are you being SERIOUS right now?”. This was a game created for those who enjoy ginormous breasts, little plot, and need something else to fap to.
Now, would I, as a female gamer, like to see my warrior ladies wearing actual armor that serves a purpose? Sure. I mean let’s be at least logical here: If I were on the battlefield with monsters coming after me, I’d like all of me covered, especially my torso where, if anyone has ever taken biology, knows that’s where a good majority of my vital organs are currently residing.
That’s why it makes even less sense to just cover a female warrior’s boobs (and usually crotch in a bikini-style codpiece). No risk of attack to my stomach and my entrails, right? Moreover, it isn’t like the ginorous size of a female’s characters breasts would hinder her ability to perform in action, right? No chance of them getting in the way at all!
(And clearly, this is something that all of the characters have managed to adjust to juuuuust fine.)
But, again, as I have said, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. But if half-naked, digitial women with enormous breasts, borderline pornographic sounding voices, and little next to no plot are yours, drink up.
For those wanting a bit more out of our MMORPG’s: Stay thirsty, my friends.
#1Reasonwhy Explodes on Twitter, Highlights Gender Gap and Harassment in Game Development
Tuesday, 27th November 2012Posted in Industry
Tags: 1reasonwhy, conversation, game, game development, people, sharing, support, women
Written by: R Bryant Francis
Gamers paying attention to Twitter last night might have noticed #1Reasonwhy exploding on twitter as women who work in game design, freelance art, and other parts of the video game industry began sharing their stories of dealing with mistreatment and gender inequality in the workplace.
For many uneducated readers, this feed gives the chance to see into an unfortunately dark side of game development, one which has become more exposed in the last few years as more and more stories like this come to light.
In the last 15 hours Continue reading “#1Reasonwhy Explodes on Twitter, Highlights Gender Gap and Harassment in Game Development” »
Does Watching Porn HURT Your Sex Life? How It Could Make You TERRIBLE In Bed…
Tuesday, 13th March 2012Posted in Blog Archive, Keeping it Real, Offbeat
Tags: Men, porn, sex, that's, want, women, wygant
Written by: Jeff Nau
Follow @jeffnau
In a recent op-ed piece by David Wygant on Digg, the author seems to have only one intent: to vilify porn, and, oh yeah, make sure that you know how bad it is for you, and for women.
Still. (All I can say is, man– that’s f*cking awesome for all those of us who were raised Catholic.) Yes, Wygant makes it no secret that those who rely too much on porn often will interminably see and feel the negative effect in their own sex life.
But just how badly? Continue reading “Does Watching Porn HURT Your Sex Life? How It Could Make You TERRIBLE In Bed…” »
How Should You Really Feel About Booth Babes?
Thursday, 19th January 2012Posted in Blog Archive, Gaming, Keeping it Real
Tags: BBC, booth babes, ces, degrading, models, scantily-clad, show, tech, women, xbox
Written by: Craig Hunter
You may not be surprised to see “booth babes” in this BBC report from the show floor at CES 2012. However, the report doesn’t just show off the women, but instead the BBC’s Matt Danzico went to CES to find out how females working in the tech industry feel about booth babes.
The report starts out interviewing various female technology writers including Molly McHugh of Digital Trends who says “it’s sending this message of what my sex is here to do… I’d rather be learning about the products”. McHugh says the booth babes’ presence at the shows is “uncomfortable” but in her opinion not degrading. Continue reading “How Should You Really Feel About Booth Babes?” »
The World’s Smartest Man…Doesn’t Get Chicks
Monday, 16th January 2012Posted in Blog Archive, Offbeat
Tags: girls, Men are From Mars, physics, Stephen Hawking, time, women, Women are From Venus
Written by: Jeff Nau
Stephen Hawking. A name synonymous with overcoming tremendous adversity, pondering the universe’s greatest mysteries, and inciting scientists, cosmologists and astronomers to decipher the origins of time.
Yet according to Geekosystem, in a recent interview, Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at the University of Cambridge and bestselling author of A Brief History of Time — which translated theoretical physics/the Theory of Relativity/black hole science into a vernacular the layperson could understand — admitted that girls are, well, hard to figure out. To be specific: Continue reading “The World’s Smartest Man…Doesn’t Get Chicks” »
Shakkabox: A Depraved, Detestable, and Utterly Hypnotic Way to Pass Time at Work
Monday, 29th August 2011Posted in Gaming, Offbeat, Pop Culture
Tags: demean, depraved, NSFW, porn, shakkabox, The Brick, women
Written by: Jeff Nau
* (Actually, NSFW) So what the hell is Shakkabox? Something only a sick bastard would come up with? Continue reading “Shakkabox: A Depraved, Detestable, and Utterly Hypnotic Way to Pass Time at Work” »
Dealing with the Pervs: Cons adapt to changing base
Wednesday, 3rd August 2011Posted in Blog Archive, Gaming
Tags: arrest, catsucon, controversy, cosplay, female, geeks, otakon, pervs, washington post, women
Written by: R Bryant Francis
The Washington Post today decided to briefly catch up with the geek world and check in with Otacon over on the east coast–and, naturally decided to focus on the negative aspects of it. It’s filled with the usual “geeks are freaks” vibe, but there’s some good news between the lines in all this.
The story deals with with the conviction of a one Michael Halper of having underaged sex with a thirteen year old. I think we can all agree that’s PRETTY DISGUSTING, but the good news is the Cons are listening, and are making plans to make sure events like this never happen again. Continue reading “Dealing with the Pervs: Cons adapt to changing base” »
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